Story of my Life… Always Doomed to Fail

21 Day Fix - Day 8

I think any time you try to do things like this, you’re going to have bad days, and today was one of those days.  I woke up this morning and everything hurt.   My arms and legs were on fire, my neck and back were stiff, I had a monster headache and felt like I was going to throw up.  I couldn’t stomach the thought of breakfast, but still tried to grocery shopping for the week with my lovely wife. 

I will admit that I may not have been the greatest shopping companion, and ended up just having to sit on a bench at the front of the store.  After getting home I ate a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and felt a little better getting up.  By 5, I was finally feeling like myself again. 

The other discouraging factor is my weight.  I started out at 322 pounds with the goal of dropping down under 300, the first few days were great, I dropped weight and dropped it quickly, but after day 4 I was sitting at 310.  But then it stopped for 4 days, now it has played around jumping from 310 to 312 and back again.  And I know the facts, I know weight works like that.  I know you just have to keep eating right, and keep pushing play in the workouts.  And yes I know someday that weight will fall again, but when you’re eating so clean and you’re working so hard, its so difficult not to see that scale drop every day or two. 

Well I guess I haven’t failed yet, and I truly don’t plan to.  Here at day 8, I only have 13 days to go, and you know what they say, you can do anything for 13 days.  Doing the math, I will now also have to lose .77 pounds per day to finish this 21 days under 300 pounds again.  Yes it’s hard, and yes you probably shouldn’t lose weight that fast, but I’m 38 years old, and I weigh 310 pounds.  I’m no longer a young man with plenty of time to do this. 

6 years ago I weighed almost 380 Pounds and realized I had a problem. 4 years ago I weighed 340

pounds and I thought I needed to do something quicker, I was almost 35 years old, and knew I couldn’t keep fooling around with this.  I dropped down to 300 doing Power 90, and then another 20 pounds doing a variety of workouts with a very strict diet.  But then came Vacation.   A week in Disney, and after that my motivation to continue seemed to fade, and slowly but surely I worked my way back to 350 by last summer, it would ebb and flow but was bad. 

I realized last summer I was too large, but have been too sick to do anything major, so I’ve just eaten better, not a lot better, but better, and when I weighed in to start 21 day Fix my weight sat at 322.  So now I have to get to 300, to 280 and beyond.  I think the key is not to stop.  I need a healthy weight of somewhere between 180 – 200.  It may take a while, but it needs to happen. 

As we finish up today, I was way short with my food, having felt so sick this morning.  Having missed last week, today was my first go of Full Body Cardio, it was hard but not the hardest one in main series of 7 but it probably can gladly take a spot in the top 3.  Hardest workout has to go to Dirty 30, which I am already dreading on Saturday.  

Shakeology

21 day Fix - Day 7

That’s right you read it here!  Day 7!  I am now officially 1/3 of the way through 21 Day Fix, and to be honest, I wasn’t sure I would make it this far.  Day 1 was hard, not just the workout but the food containers.  And to be honest, it’s really not the food containers.  As I sit here now, I still have 6.5 food containers left, and I’m not sure how I’m going to eat that much more food.  (I probably won’t, which may be the reason my weight has dried up the last couple days.) 

My biggest problem has been the super cleaning eating.  I’ve done a couple programs in the past.  Four years ago I completer Power 90 and lost 40 pounds.  I ate well -l carb, high protean, a lot of veggies.  But I never went all the way.  Sundays, I wouldn’t worry about it, and I’d have my donuts occasionally and although I’d given up McDonalds, I’d still get subway (which is a lot of bread).  When I did 10-Minute Trainer two years ago, same thing I lost the weight, but didn’t go completely clean.  So now here I am.  Day 7 completely clean, completely following the program.  Sure I still have 14 to go, but I feel like I stand a chance to make it. 

One thing that made today interesting is I was able to try a sample pack of Shakeology.  I used a little ice a little almond milk, and I was able to enjoy one of the highlights of this diet.  Shakeology was pretty awesome - thick and rich and chocolatey.  One packet filled me completely up and I wasn’t hungry all morning.  Finally at about 3:00, I went after some lunch.  So it definitely reduced cravings, and I felt good afterwards so 2 of the 4 promises on the package were filled with just one serving.  I’m not planning on losing weight, or improved digestive health with just 1.  (But if you have a bunch of extra Shakeology lying around I’ll let you know…)  The problem will be the cost.  Four dollars a serving and I don’t have enough McDonalds to cut out to cover that cost.  So we will see, but I think I’d love to do it again, but a few things have to fall in to place.  I’ll give it an A/Incomplete. 

As far as the rest of the day I preached on Job chapter 30, I taught on John 4.  I had a theatre meeting in-between.  I ate three meals and 2 snacks, and yes I even worked out.  Yoga Fit, was another one of If you’re reading this) I cannot to touch my toes, and I most definitely can’t stand on the palms of my hands.   Honestly, I can’t even get past my knees.  Where is my Yoga? Where is the Yoga of my people (the unbendable ones)?    (Hang on let me techy this #Autumn #Aworkoutyogaforme!)  There now Autumn will be reading this while eating her breakfast salad. 

those videos that Autumn spent most of the time doing things I’ve never dreamed of doing and telling me to put my body into positions it does not go.  Autumn (

 

By the way, I had to add to my day 22 list today.  I was waiting in line to pay for my salad, when

there was the ad next to me for 10 deep fried Cajun shrimp, red beans and rice, a buttery honey biscuit, and a large pop.  (Or soda if your one of those people.) 

But that’s a day.  Again, day 7.  Who would have Thunk!

Birthdays and Butt Kicking’s

21 Day Fix – Day 6

(Perhaps my next challenge group?)

No, it’s not my Birthday today, but it was my butt that got kicked.  Today was the 21 Day Fix Dirty 30, and I will proclaim now the worst workout to date.  Not bad as in Sweating to the Oldies bad,whatever her last name is) came out of the television, kicked my butt, and beat the tar out of me all over the living room and then hopped back in the TV to do it all over again.  By the time I finished, I was drenched in sweat, panting like a dog and barley able to move.  9 hours later at least I’m no longer sweating or panting.  But I hurt everywhere.                                                                                                                                                      

 

As far as the birthday goes, today’s belonged to my lovely wife.  This wonderful woman is the reason I’m doing this 21 Day Fix.  She both gives me reason to work out and convinced me to do this program with her.  She has planned all the wonderful meals I’ve talked about and even proofreads all of these blogs (I’ll be honest I have awful grammar) (Stupid Michigan Model English Program).  Anyway, today was my dear wife’s birthday, and yes she celebrated on the 21 Day Fix.  No Ice Cream, No Cake.  I tried to convince her to let me make her a 21 Day Fix approved Double Chocolate cookie made from coconut flour.  (Which who knew was a thing).  But she would have none of it.

 

(Its sad how hungry this picture makes me)

Instead, I made her breakfast in bed (Pepper, onion, mushroom, scrambled eggs) and then kept the kids busy so she could work out.  From there, I made the chili that she had volunteered for a basketball tournament, dropped it off, then for dinner I made an awesome Baked Ziti with a homemade sauce.  In the end, I tried to give her the best birthday possible without doing any birthday things.  Although I am really craving cake… Add that to the day 22 ‘I need this’ list.

The interesting thing about this 21 Day Fix is I spend so much time wishing I could have those foods I don’t have.  My wife Jen (In case I didn’t mention her name) spends most of her time trying to fit in all the foods she has and talking about being full.  I don’t know why this is, unless it deals with how our bodies are set up, or maybe the foods we ate before … who knows. 

One thing I have struggled throughout the first 6 days has been the water.  When I’ve done these programs in the past I’ve kept at 2-4 bottles of water a day.  Or 4-8 8oz glasses of water.  But 21 Day Fix wants me to drink 20 of those 8oz glasses of water.  Which just seems like a swimming pool full of water.  10 bottles of water is a lot of water. Today I made it through 4 which is this most I’ve done yet in these first 6 days.  Anyways I threw it out here so I maybe if I will keep more accountable with it. 

By the way I haven’t really thought about donuts until just now…

It’s My Fury Road

21 Day Fix – Day 5

(Today felt like this going fast and not being able to eat!)

Yep that’s right, day 5. I feel like it’s going at a fast pace now, pain, planning and repeat.   I truly can’t believe its day 5, the last of the week days.  And I’m feeling better about it each day, sure the workouts kicked my butt again, like who can possibly do burpee after burpee.  I, after taking almost 20 seconds on the first one,I went down for the second one, but my arms gave out, and I laid there for the rest of the drill trying not to throw up.  But by the next exercise I got up and I kept on going.  Tonight, I finished Cardio Fix.  1 down with that workout and 2 to go. 

I would like to take a moment to comment on this workout however.  Beachbody always claims you can do all their workouts in the comfort of your own home.  And for many people, I’m sure that’s true.  A little 110 pound woman or a 170 pound guy could jump all over their house on their light feet and be fine.  And on the flip side a big 350 – 400 pound guy who had to modify everything to the extreme could do it at home.  But what about the in-between.  As I’ve said before I am a big guy, 6’4 and as of today I tip the scales at 310 pounds.  Luckily with two bad knees I need to modify, but if that wasn’t the case I would bring the house down on top of my bouncing around.  I could still do the lifting and the yoga but cardio would have to stop. 

(A Picture of me doing Cardio inside!) 

Tony Horton if your listening is it possible to do a Cardio that won’t break the house, and will bring me down under 200 pounds?  I’d be happy to beta test it with you (OK, I doubt Tony Horton reads this blog but let me try the hashtag thing again #TonyHorton #Beachbody (There now I’m sure he will be reading this with his breakfast Shakeology)

Anyway back to the day (I guess I haven’t talked about that yet.) I woke up early (Well early for me, and my wife actually woke me up after her workout, but it sounds better the other way.) And I made breakfast for my wife and kids.  Breakfast sandwiches with turkey bacon, egg, and tomato on a whole wheat English muffin.  (It sounds boring, but my eggs are legendary.)  I didn’t want to go for the English muffin -  it just sounded too early for the loss of two carbs.  So I had 3 scrambled eggs and 4 slices of Turkey Bacon.  It was a solid breakfast for only 2.5 protein.

My wife packed an amazing lunch and snacks for work.  Me, I forgot.  I was going to try to wait until dinner, but after shoveling snow, I was tired and hungry so it was off to get another salad, I got the same thing as I got yesterday judging container size as best I could, and I think I did OK.  Worked the rest of the afternoon, and came home and made Honey Garlic Pork Chops. 

They were amazing.  Probably the second best thing I have had on this diet.  (Although it has only lasted 5 days.)  If I ever figure out this link thing out I’ll let you click to the recipes, but don’t get your hopes up). 

Well from there I hit the workout, which I already talked about.  I had a protein shake, and I wrote this blog, watched Fury Road, and here we are.  I think I’m going to have a waffle with almond butter and go to bed.  

It looks like another busy day tomorrow.  

Today is a Better Day

21 Day fix – Day 4

Well yesterday I was pretty sure I wouldn’t make it to day 21, but today I feel much better about the whole thing.  Yes, I was right I did not sleep well last night.  My body felt sore and broken and it wasn’t until about 5:00 AM that I finally fell asleep. This caused me to turn off my alarm at 7:30 AM.   Thankfully, my wife woke me up at 8:00.  I hurried around and grabbed a smoothie knowing I would be at work all day.  Well, I made it to work 20 minutes late, which is always tough when you are the one leading the Bible study, luckily we have recently studied forgiveness and all was OK. 

Not you may be thinking Tim, this does not sound like a good day at all, “why are you feeling better?  Well not to worry, I’ll tell you.  To start off, after waking up late, I stepped on the bathroom scale to a weight of 312.  That’s 8 pounds from when I stood on the scale Monday Morning to when I stood on the scale Thursday morning.  I’m not sure anyone’s done better on the Biggest Loser… Which makes me think I should have went on there because I could use a whole bunch of money.  I actually went on to another Biggest Loser moment after getting to work, I walked through the kitchen on the way back to where we meet, and there on the counter 1 dozen assorted donuts and 1 dozen glazed donuts.  It was a huge temptation challenge.  I stood there and looked them over, I could have eaten not one, but several donuts and no one would have noticed… But I didn’t and walked into the other room.  I won the challenge!  (It’s good to know I’ll be safe from elimination on Friday!)

The day continued on the good streak, I had forgotten my lunch but I was able to estimate the size of the containers and get a salad from a local salad bar.  Which by the way shares a space with a Blimpies.  Dominos and a Cajun Fried Chicken place… yet I walked out with just a veggie and protein heavy salad.  I stopped at a gas station for a pop (yes, I still haven’t been able to kick the diet Mt. Dew… that is another challenge.)    Anyway the gas station also has hot dogs, nachos, and yes the best donuts in town (that’s a shout out to you Tom’s Donuts #TomsDonuts (I really don’t understand this Hashtag thing)

(This isnt my Tom's Donuts but its a Tom's Donuts) 

Well I eventually went home and cooked dinner, which I can’t believe I haven’t done yet as my wife

has been doing all the cooking since we started.  I made a pretty great Honey Mustard Salmon, and yes the picture is the actual salmon I made…

And finally at 9:00 I finally got in front of the TV to press play and make my way through Pilates Fix.  Now I had never done Pilates, to be honest it always sounded a little effeminate, and I kind of pride myself on being a manly man.  But let’s be honest, a woman named Autumn kicked my butt all week and she will probably continue to do so.  So Pilates it is.  It was good to know as well that both my wife and brother-in-law who are doing this with me said it was way easier than yesterday.  I stepped in encouraged, but before I go on remember I am 6’4, 312 pounds and I may be the least flexible person on the planet.  I have never been able to go lower then my knees on a toe touch.  My back doesn’t bend like that.  And I quickly realized several of the exercises I had to modify the modified just to get into the starting position.  So it was hard, really hard, but as I am sitting here still sore, I’m thinking I still did do some good. 

And that was my day, maybe I can do the next 17 days without a donut. 

(I Feel like this could be the new face of Tim Loses It!)

My Legs Hurt

21 Day Fix – Day 3

Well I’m feeling positive as I have completed 3 days out of 21, that means I am 1/7 of the way there. 

For a guy who hasn’t made it past day 2 of anything since 10 minute trainer almost 2 years ago, this is a pretty big deal.  Also, I continue to be pretty full.  Today I had a giant smoothie for breakfast, a dinner with this balsamic peach chicken, pasta, and broccoli and I even had a late night snack of a couple of beef taco’s from last night.  I know I missed lunch in there, but we had a weird snow day and the whole family slept in.  Plus, more good news, no one brought me any donuts and I have lost 7 pounds since Sunday Night, and 5 pounds since Monday morning which is my technical start date.  I know I can’t keep up this pace but it gives me a quick push towards dropping under 300 which is my goal for these 21 days…

I am, however, also feeling very negative tonight as my body is spent.  The 7 videos for 21 Day Fix are more difficult than P-90 or Ten Minute Trainer, and I didn’t realize just how exhausted I was until I went to stretch out for the Legs workout and my arms were really stiff. The more I warmed up, the worse it got until my arms were on fire and I still had 28 minutes of legs to go. 

And let me tell you about legs, this was the single most difficult workout I have ever done.  And that includes 8^th grade basketball tryouts where we had to run around the gym again and again and again, until enough kids left the team… I guess the coach didn’t like cuts.  But back to this workout, I wanted to remember the names of these exercises but they slipped my mind as each one was more evil then the one before.  Squats and lunges for the first 20 minutes and then you had to get on the ground for the really hard stuff.  I gave up on weights pretty quickly.  At 315, I figured I was already lifting way more weight than any on them on my squats and lunges.  And when I hit the last exercise I was using muscles I never knew I had… they’re still on fire over three hours later…

(No this was not my 8th grade Basketball Team)

All that said, what has me really feeling defeated is I don’t know how my sore arms and achy legs will get better, everything else I’ve done has always had a rest day. I always remember being so sore until that rest day but feeling so strong afterwards.  Here, I don’t know how my wrecked body ever recovers.  Will every day just be worse than the ones before?  Am I destined to 17 days of misery?  I hope not, but as I struggle to sleep tonight these are the thoughts going through my mind. 

I hate to leave things so negative, so I will close on a positive.  First I will finish, and second, I had the chance to eat a donut today and I didn’t.  I had stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up Fennel, Celery, Humus and other healthy things when I found myself standing in front of the donut case. It helped that Wal-Mart donuts are gross, but they still looked good. Then I turned around and found myself staring straight at a piece of red velvet cake.  Not only red velvet cake, but clearance red velvet cake.  .59 cents a piece.  I love a good deal almost as much as I love red velvet cake, but I fought through the temptation, bought my celery and headed home. 

Although telling that whole story, I really want a donut!  I’m going to bed, so when you read this it may be tomorrow.

This is a donut form QD in Lansing... They have great Donuts

And That’s All I Need!

21 Day Fix - Day 2 

Well although I left yesterday looking bleak, it really was a good day, sometimes the key to any specialty program is to be a little bit flexible… So although I was not able to get through the workout, I’ll do 2 at another date.   Even without the workout I did drop a pound and a half dropping from about 320 – 318.5.  So I’ll take it. 

Today has been a different sort of day all together.  Because of an incoming ice storm, I stayed home and had to try to work out here, I usually try not to do this, as I am a big man, and I live in a small fragile house.  But today was all upper body so I didn’t break my floor bouncing around.  The upper

(No thats not me... We were getting an ice storm)

body was harder than I expected as I usually do ok with the weights.  This however not only had 2 full minutes of pushups, but it also had 4 full minutes of crunches.  I would be lying if I didn’t say this kicked my butt. 

I’ve also had a solid day on food, I traded my yellow container for 16 ounces of almond milk, so I

was able to go for a fruit smoothie for breakfast, and a protean shake after my workout.  It made part of the day much more bearable but I’m sad they don’t let you make this switch every day.  It seems like a little milk would be better for you then the waffle I used for that carb yesterday. 

All in all though, I am a little hungry most of the time, they do a pretty decent Job on the amount of food, I have not been able to get through all the protean and Veggies yet.  But I am finding myself seriously missing those things that I used to eat a lot, but I currently cannot have.  For example I am usually a big cereal guy.  I often eat 3-4 bowls of cereal now I have gone cold turkey, with no serial, I could manage a singe bowl of whole wheat cereal, but I would use up all my carbs for a day.   And that would not be fun. 

I also used to eat an unhealthy amount of donuts.  To put it in perspective I once lost over 15 pounds doing a 1 donut a day diet, people sometimes ask how many donuts did I eat a day, well as I may someday run for president, I would rather not say.  But after 2 days of clean eating, I really really miss Donuts.  Turns out a whole wheat waffle, with a teaspoon of almond butter is not a decent replacement. 

Tonight I started thinking about what I wanted to eat on day 22.  Sure I’m gonna get back to try to eat healthy again, but I really see day 22 as a giant cheat day to eat those things I’ve missed.  As the evening went on, I have started to feel like Navin R. Johnson talking about how “that’s all I need”…

On day 22 I’m gonna have 4 Donuts and that’s all I need…

On day 22 I’m gonna have 4 Donuts, and a box of Reece’s Puff Cereal and that’s all I need. 

On day 22 I’m gonna have 4 Donuts, and a box of Reece’s Puff Cereal, and a bacon wrapped pizza, and that’s all I need! 

On day 22 I’m gonna have 4 Donuts, and a box of Reece’s Puff Cereal, and a bacon wrapped pizza, and crepes with real maple syrup and that’s all I need!  That’s all I need, well until tomorrow. 

So that’s where I am right now.  Its 10:00 pm (Although you won’t read it until later) Its usually the time I start busting out the cereal, but all I have left tonight is fruit, veggies, and a couple teaspoons of peanut butter… I’ll let you know how it all works next time… And remember don’t bring me donuts… Nooooo Donuts, I definitely don’t want donuts right now…

Good night