Story of my Life… Always Doomed to Fail

21 Day Fix - Day 8

I think any time you try to do things like this, you’re going to have bad days, and today was one of those days.  I woke up this morning and everything hurt.   My arms and legs were on fire, my neck and back were stiff, I had a monster headache and felt like I was going to throw up.  I couldn’t stomach the thought of breakfast, but still tried to grocery shopping for the week with my lovely wife. 

I will admit that I may not have been the greatest shopping companion, and ended up just having to sit on a bench at the front of the store.  After getting home I ate a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and felt a little better getting up.  By 5, I was finally feeling like myself again. 

The other discouraging factor is my weight.  I started out at 322 pounds with the goal of dropping down under 300, the first few days were great, I dropped weight and dropped it quickly, but after day 4 I was sitting at 310.  But then it stopped for 4 days, now it has played around jumping from 310 to 312 and back again.  And I know the facts, I know weight works like that.  I know you just have to keep eating right, and keep pushing play in the workouts.  And yes I know someday that weight will fall again, but when you’re eating so clean and you’re working so hard, its so difficult not to see that scale drop every day or two. 

Well I guess I haven’t failed yet, and I truly don’t plan to.  Here at day 8, I only have 13 days to go, and you know what they say, you can do anything for 13 days.  Doing the math, I will now also have to lose .77 pounds per day to finish this 21 days under 300 pounds again.  Yes it’s hard, and yes you probably shouldn’t lose weight that fast, but I’m 38 years old, and I weigh 310 pounds.  I’m no longer a young man with plenty of time to do this. 

6 years ago I weighed almost 380 Pounds and realized I had a problem. 4 years ago I weighed 340

pounds and I thought I needed to do something quicker, I was almost 35 years old, and knew I couldn’t keep fooling around with this.  I dropped down to 300 doing Power 90, and then another 20 pounds doing a variety of workouts with a very strict diet.  But then came Vacation.   A week in Disney, and after that my motivation to continue seemed to fade, and slowly but surely I worked my way back to 350 by last summer, it would ebb and flow but was bad. 

I realized last summer I was too large, but have been too sick to do anything major, so I’ve just eaten better, not a lot better, but better, and when I weighed in to start 21 day Fix my weight sat at 322.  So now I have to get to 300, to 280 and beyond.  I think the key is not to stop.  I need a healthy weight of somewhere between 180 – 200.  It may take a while, but it needs to happen. 

As we finish up today, I was way short with my food, having felt so sick this morning.  Having missed last week, today was my first go of Full Body Cardio, it was hard but not the hardest one in main series of 7 but it probably can gladly take a spot in the top 3.  Hardest workout has to go to Dirty 30, which I am already dreading on Saturday.